[sic] playlist and poem: time, memory and dream

So, it is quite fitting that this week’s theme is time because I feel like I am seriously pressed for time lately. So many things to do, every second is vital. I kind of feel like Jessie Spano right now:



This playlist is so good, I can’t even stand it. All of the songs have to do with time in some way, some more personal than others. Mack the Knife was my favorite song growing up (yes, really!); it takes me back to driving in a family member’s car, windows down, heading through Brooklyn in summer. Robbie Williams’ version transports me to summers in London: all heat and freedom, rain, beauty, dancing. Good Riddance is kind of an obvious choice, I know, but I will never forget hearing it during a particularly heinous day when I was feeling completely defeated. It helped me heal.

And…a poem. Maybe it’s because I’ve been on a YA reading kick, but I have been reflecting a lot on my teenage years, and this is the result.


I was not a teen

dream more like a

teenage wasteland, a

landfill full

of discarded remains, my

face covered in

oil spills, my

hair primed for rodent

nesting, my

gut stuffed with garbage

like a fucking scarecrow

my mind an

old urine-stained mattress with

too many loose springs

poking and scratching at your

back, snagging

skin in the midst of

night terrors

a broken rosary

smashed glass bottles with

blood smeared on the

shards, and

everyone wondered why I

didn’t apply myself more

I just wanted to be

pretty I just

wanted to be normal I

just wanted to be white

I just thought that would make people

like me

I got called spic a lot

a spic(k), a speck a

little annoyance in your


now I am proud again, I

want to take that girl and

dust her off

she was a garden, you

see, fertile with ideas and

words and longing and

knowledge and

orgullo y

fuerza y

todo el mundo

she had her

mother’s eyes her father’s

art her

grandmother’s memories

whispered to her in

utero there was

nothing wrong with her and

too much wrong with the

world around her, she was no

spick/speck she was

a glowing orb, a

brilliant star that

threatened to blind those who

wish the world was



Filed under Uncategorized

2 responses to “[sic] playlist and poem: time, memory and dream

  1. wow, this struck a familiar chord deep inside me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s