When I Grow Up….

I did a lot of thinking about what I wanted to do for this theme, and I felt stuck. I couldn’t settle on one thing. I think this is because I’m going through a time of transition and haven’t been able to focus many of the ideas on my head. This song always brings me back to my childhood. It brings to me the hope I had as a kid. We used to spend weekends in the Poconos; the house was surrounded by woods. They were frightening and beautiful, and we used to run through them, breathless and dizzy. When I listen to this song, I feel like I’m running through those woods, looking for deer and magic, breathing in the scents of earth and animal. I would spend so much time in the loft of the house where we would stay and read magazines and books, dreaming of becoming a writer, a fashion designer, a pretty girl.

Even now, a married woman with a steady career, I feel like that child, running, searching for the extraordinary. A fairy, a blessing, a sign. I find myself writing more. Not just fiction, but pouring myself onto the pages of my journal in an attempt to hold on to myself. Writing feels like both the most adult thing to do and the most childlike. When I write, I am running. I am discovering. I am free.

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by | February 17, 2014 · 3:16 pm

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