or 91 i am so
the desert night sky whispers something to me
something comforting it is the first time i notice
i am worried/excited it is following me home
where will i put it?
we are leaving Safeway probably or the
i think it is summer
water is rationed but the air is cool
the star on the side of the mountain is bright
i am eating something chocolate, a donut, with colored sprinkles
i can still taste it i will taste it forever
the moon and the star on the mountain are still there
this memory is an amalgam
another car ride
we had oranges the night before
we sat in the dim light of the neighbor lady’s den
peeling oranges they left a sour sadness in my mouth
Stevie Wonder calls to say I love you
all the way to Your New Home You Are Going To Love It Denver
Stevie’s love and a Tiny Toon Adventures coloring book
in the back seat occupy me through desert nothing
this desert is not home
(I will come to love it but not yet)
there is snow
there are squirrels and creeks and other oddities
there is sap in the trees! this home is strange
we are going to Kansas now
all i know is Kansas is in black and white
will i still see in color?
i have to meet my dad’s family my family
will there be lemonade on wrap-around porches?
are all the houses painted white with picket fences?
will it be like meeting the Golden Girls?
i miss my Nana Rosa’s menudo, raisin tamales
i hate raisins but i miss them
the peach tree in the back yard and fridge full
of guava nectar on the back porch
my cousins here ask me to say things in Spanish
Say the cow jumped over the moon!
there is spaghetti and Wonder Bread toast
ramen noodles and mayonnaise
there are big baggy t-shirts and not a single braid!
this is not my Golden Girls Dream Home
i dream of home