homecoming: a chronology

I.

1990 probably

or 91 i am so

young

the desert night sky whispers something to me

something comforting it is the first time i notice

the moon

i am worried/excited it is following me home

where will i put it?

we are leaving Safeway probably or the

mall

i think it is summer

water is rationed but the air is cool

the star on the side of the mountain is bright

i am eating something chocolate, a donut, with colored sprinkles

i can still taste it i will taste it forever

the moon and the star on the mountain are still there

this memory is an amalgam

II.

another car ride

leaving Texas

we had oranges the night before

we sat in the dim light of the neighbor lady’s den

peeling oranges they left a sour sadness in my mouth

Stevie Wonder calls to say I love you

all the way to Your New Home You Are Going To Love It Denver

Stevie’s love and a Tiny Toon Adventures coloring book

in the back seat occupy me through desert nothing

this desert is not home

(I will come to love it but not yet)

there is snow

there are squirrels and creeks and other oddities

there is sap in the trees! this home is strange

III.

we are going to Kansas now

all i know is Kansas is in black and white

will i still see in color?

i have to meet my dad’s family my family

will there be lemonade on wrap-around porches?

are all the houses painted white with picket fences?

will it be like meeting the Golden Girls?

i miss my Nana Rosa’s menudo, raisin tamales

i hate raisins but i miss them

the peach tree in the back yard and fridge full

of guava nectar on the back porch

my cousins here ask me to say things in Spanish

Say the cow jumped over the moon!

there is spaghetti and Wonder Bread toast

ramen noodles and mayonnaise

there are big baggy t-shirts and not a single braid!

this is not my Golden Girls Dream Home

IV.

i dream of home

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