Tag Archives: cycle

2014, Week 4: Cycling

Unravveling Fire

There is a woman who I know whom I love who is close to me in ways I cannot possibly define. Oh, how I wanted to become her, to be as brave and as fearless, to be as shocking and clever and wily. Flames kindled on her red tongue. She chomped at the bit and crashed into lovers and drank long and belched hard. A million friends, every one of them in rapture. She told me secrets and I worshiped and I worshiped her. Embers rose into the air and she always jumped she always caught them she always fell.

She is cycling again, he says. Scraping knees, mystery bruises. Hospital visits, therapists, psychiatrists all lining up to douse this rogue fire, swiping at a chance maybe even to catch it to study it. Pills line the bathroom sink. It has been years. There is a woman who I know whom I’ve tried to love who is so close to me that I can no longer untangle her breath her thoughts from my own.  She is burdened and ashamed and heavy and her fire is old, old, no hearth fire, no bobbling lantern in dark night. Just a weak candle, sputter, reaching, reaching for air, waiting, thinking this is my time. Thinking this is it, this is it and then the fall.

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My creativity tends to run in cycles.  Whenever I get frustrated with one medium, I always have an old favorite to fall back on.  This week, I’ve really been struggling with my novel because I’m coming up on the climax and all the heavy stuff that’s going to be tough to write.  So, yesterday I gave myself some space and took to my camera for creative outlet.  Here are a few photos I took without even leaving the house:

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by | February 17, 2014 · 12:06 pm

2014, Week 4: Cycle

ouroboros

 

Bicycle tires going ’round, the medicine wheel, seasons turning, compass spinning. The wheel of fortune, mine or yours. Menstrual cycle, moons waxing and waning, lemniscates looping endlessly, ouroboros tucking into his own tail. What goes around comes around. The ring on my finger. The orbit in your eyes. Last year, the years before, the years after.

Have at it, darlings.

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