Tag Archives: LT

Deja Vu

“Whoa. I just had total déjà vu.” We all recognize it when it’s happening. How is that? What is it? Happens so fast, a fleeting sensation, awareness, connection to… What? A dreamworld? A past life? Another dimension? A glitch in the videogame of life. What is déjà vu to you? What does it mean? Is this real life? Xoxox

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Water

After watching a documentary on the devastating industry of Fraking for natural gas I’ve been thinking a lot about water.

Water that my generation takes for granted. Water that my country wastes beyond measure. Water that floods our cities now that the weather is so unpredictable. Water that we buy in bottles because we don’t trust our city’s filtration systems.

Water that makes up who we are.

Water that keeps our cells alive.

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Roadkill

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i)

Get stuffed

Stuff it down

This stuff

Dress it up

Hang it on a wall

Forget that

It’s not real

It’s not alive

Can’t feel a thing

Touch it

It’s not real

But look how life-like

Struck so sudden

Like a truck

He came out of nowhere

Like a door

Flying

Shoes lost

Glasses gone

Blurry

All the way home

ii)

Raccoon splattered a few hours after we said hello

Earlier in the night

I was okay

I was all right

Smash like a truck

Snap Splat

I saw your pelt

Hands still

Little paws

Still intact

But your innards were left so far behind

Shining black

Street light

Missed bus

Mad girl taking snaps of a dead raccoon

Howl and heave

Along a dead road

I cried for you raccoon

You and me

Guts smushed

Inside innards out

Forgot to look the other way

Street sweepers will come back for you another day

Who will come for me?

iii)

And just when you think there’s no way you’re coming back from this one

They puff you right up

Stuff you

Fill you

Prop you in a fancy pose

Stitch your smiling face back on

Glass eyes stuck

Look how life-like

Look how real she looks

But not really

Claws

Skin

Pelt

What she was

Is gone

Faded

Forgotten

Black stain on the pavement

Hymen spilled on his childhood mattress

Thumbnail torn in the hinge of her trailer door

Bobby pin rusting at the bottom of their backyard pool

Fill

Stitch

Glue

Twisted in the memory

Hardened by the stuffing

Fur still soft

But not alive

Making me want to cry

Empty painted eyes

So many dead things hanging on these walls

I will never be the way I was

Taxidermy can’t fix this

My insides out

Still on the road

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Cut and Paste Poetry: A Macabre Project

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1.  Lunch Hour Macabre

Death.  Hold on.  Come back.
Clutch at my young throat
This is a game we used to play
But I was so afraid
Carve away the stone
How do they
Climb the stairs
Break down the wall
Retreat to the sparkling darkness holding hands
Until I faint 
Press close enough
And it is quiet.
Kiss felt like
I was trapped in memories
Against the cold stone
I like the way it feels
But for now lungs breathe
At the end of the hall she passed a note.
Not the end.

2.  Setting Sun Macabre

When I think of how
They lowered me down
In reality
We set each other free
How real then kissing was
And now take take the reality away
We found our first escape
And then take your hands away
I wanted to know
To feel this kind of release
Fuck a boy
Until darkness rises
Like a fog off dead meadow
Let me fall
Peaceful edge
Cutting soft light of the living

3.  Macabre Cross the Line

You’ve now seen the other side, far away.
It wasn’t all that.
Insane laughter
Back of the bus
All that
Rain
Once again you are you, in love
These aching lungs
Wasting the present day
Caverns of lonely 
Aching veins
I don’t know this is the end
Deafening call
I don’t know but let the pure love kill

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Mad Girl’s Love Song by Sylvia Plath

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I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

 
 

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Time Piece

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I exist

In this instant

 

The time is now

There’s only so much time

Where did the time go

Time goes by

Quickly now

Shifts to then

 

There was this time

In this one hour

When I felt real

 

Three blind mice

Running behind

Didn’t get there on time

Up the clock each day

Wasting hours away

 

Forget to set the clock

All the time in the world

Forget to flip the switch

Turn back the day

Hold on tonight

 

And that is time

 

Time is up

One last time

Parting frozen moment

Seconds tick so loud

When the alarm sounds

 

I hear a heart beat

My time peace

 

LT

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Lost Shadows

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Shadow remembers
Tall and long
In the sinking sun
Cross the frozen lake
Crunch a path to the
Small island of evergreens
Hug me
Feel me
The tree always hugs back

Shadow surrenders
With a swaying song
Midnight windy storm
On the Whiffen Spit
Waves flood the walk
As drowning crickets chirp
See me
Free me
The eagle always comes back

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Daddy Ancient, Daddy Gone

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(inspired by the ghost of Sylvia Plath’s poem Daddy, on this, the 50th anniversary of her death. rest in peace, ancient goddess.)

 

Daddy ancient, Daddy gone

Daddy harmful, Daddy past

Love confined, endless conditions

You slam the door

 

Daddy

Bastard

Daddy

Fool

 

You

Do

Not

Do

 

Twenty years of dust

Layering the shame

Daddy statue

Daddy stone

Daddy rattling

Shattered bone

 

I bury you

You do not do

I have buried you

 

I do not visit

Your vampire grave

Shadow of my youthful night

Empty

Hearted

Stiff

Lie back in your coffin with a seething migraine

I stepped on the line

I broke your spine

But you broke mine first

Before my birth

You

Sucked

 

The life

The soul

The spark

Careless giver of life

You bastard you

I’m through with you too

 

You couldn’t stop

Propogating this earth

You made babies

Little bits of you

Offspring

Shot by shot

One through five

 

Our creator

Our destroyer

 

Daddy’s little girls

Little boys with so much hope

Always afraid of you

Always afraid of you

Shot down

Thrown over the side

Dragged behind the boat

Crashing waves

Choking throats

Screaming cries

Life-preservers

Hold our bobbing heads

Gobbledygoo

Gobbledygoo

We made it through

We made it

Through

 

We five

We made it out alive

But shattered

But broken

Like ancient relics

Stick us together with glue

The pieces no longer fit

 

The family that you made

The family that you broke apart

With your tar black heart

Never get it right

Always need to win the fight

Terrorize

With lying eyes

You raise a colony of fear

Fertilize a garden of hate

You teach a festering kind of rage

Tiny bleeding fingers

Clawing at the cage

You taught us to run

To never turn back

We jagged shells

We flee the madhouse

Scuttle on

Scuttle on

Ancient tales

Covered trails

Dragging along

Pretty bleeding sand

 

Daddy

Daddy

I’m through

And the neighbours never liked you

You are the key to my past

I have set blazing

I have burned to ash

Sooty safe

Beneath this one black shoe

 

If I was the goddess in an ancient myth

You are the rock I am forced to push

If I was an ancient faerie sprite

You are the giant who strips me of flight

Maim me

Mark me

Steal my wings

If I was a cosmic wonder from outerspace

You are the secret service who shields my face

Making up lies

Shrouding truth

If I was the graveyard willow standing centuries tall

You are the chain-saw that makes me fall

Buzz

Kill

Stroke by stroke

 

You worked

So hard

To control and to crush

And to fuck us right up

And it almost worked

On almost all of us

 

You buried us

One by one

When we were eight

We were wishy-washy

When we were twelve

We shamed the family name

When we were twenty

We jammed our middle fingers in your face

 

You are the disgrace

The opposite of love

You are the ugliness of hate

A product of lies uprising

Victim of a long line of deception and control

But that doesn’t mean

That you had to be mean

What does it mean

That you chose to be mean

Just like your mother

Brute heart

Dagger sharp

Thorn of bitterness

Spilled over

Spread through you

Poison

You let the sickness flow

You chose to be

The bastard son

The vacant father

Your own daddy exiled

You keep grandma’s tradition alive

House-keeping

Rinse

Wash

Repeat

Vile exile

Two children tossed out

Like a sack

Like a sack

 

Pull me out

Of this erosion

Volcanic explosion

Tear down my imaginary walls

Daddy

I have built

A forest

So thick and lush

So safe and magic

It will keep you out

My siblings

And all those fallen cookie crumbs

We will find our way back to ourselves

Spider webs and emails sent

Protect me from your spell

You can no longer hurt me from your space of hate

You are so gone

Long

 

Forget you

We are through

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ancient

http://8tracks.com/idril/an-ancient-legend

Two and a half hours of music.

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by | February 7, 2013 · 3:02 pm

Wild Under Ground

greatbearrainforest

“My desire for him is like an earthquake.”

Lily feels the pull, this earthy impulse, to roll in the moss of his eyes, soft and green, naughty and raw. Standing in this muddy cavern, leaning against twisted roots that line the wall, she wants to writhe against him and bring down the dirt, make rocks crumble and shake.

I want you.  I want you. 

“I want you is all I think and feel when he looks at me.” Lily turns to Janis, who has lowered her rose-tinted specs to peer at the boy Lily can’t stop moaning about.
Janis squints, “I’d put him at about a 7.2 on the Richter scale.  He’s do-able.”

“I want him to fuck my brains out.” Lily sighs.

Janis cackles and waves for the attention of the bartender.

Everything has been leading me to you.

“Go talk to him,” says Janis.

“What would I say?  There are no words.”

“Don’t you go and turn your sweet back on love.” Janis orders a honeysuckle-whistle-pop-shot. “Suck this down and get it while you can, Sugar.”

Lily drinks the sweet fizz without taking her eyes from the boy.  Spicy fire hits the back of her throat and she feels courage rise.  Janis asks for another round, but Lily is already floating across the dance floor.  Beyond her control, she is moving closer and closer, without a clue of what she will say when she gets there. The giddiness of connecting with him in this unlikely space pulses through her arms and legs, her hands are cold and her fingers start to shake.

Now she is infront of him, and still he does not speak.  Neither of them say a word.  His eyes are wide and focused on her, and she falls.

In his stare she remembers the wolves of her home.  He shows her the white bear of the rainforest, the pink salmon splashing against the waves, the icy pacific crashing against a fern-covered floor.  Around him she sees a rainbow mist, like the spray of river falling over cliff and rock.  It’s like the book from her English class, as though he is projecting images into her, his thought forms, taking shape in a sensory overload, inside her mind.

He is silent but his eyes show me my mother’s tree. 

He is a part of the island as much as he is a part of me. 

I can feel the gritty ocean salt in the glisten of his smile.

Lily feels her lips move and she hears her voice.  “I want you.”

Benjamin wraps her in a cashmere soft embrace. He smells like spices and pine; sunrise dew and bonfire smoke clings to him like an all night beach party; salty hair, sandy skin, charred chocolate s’more, burnt to the core, grinding on a damp forest floor.

I want you I want you I want you. 

As they kiss their tongues melt like chocolate-mallow perfection. Their bodies breathe heavy.

 I want I want I want.

Wild love in the underground.

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